Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
