apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It was confusing and full of hummus
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
