god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i drank out of a bidet.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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