i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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