the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
