I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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