seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
How external is "for external use only"?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
