you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
