Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
