Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize