Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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