I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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