You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Small penises have feelings too.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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