U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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