there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
