If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
this is an emotional support booty call
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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