Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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