Me. At least after what I've been through.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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