Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize