Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
