she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
