Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
