who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
