smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
