If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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