just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
