How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
