ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
