Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
