just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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