oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
