I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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