the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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