I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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