would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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