After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize