i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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