but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
