There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
