My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You ever have a fart follow you around?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
