I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
