3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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