Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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