I am in a vortex of obligation.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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