D3 body, D1 cock
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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