I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize