Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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