Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize