dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
