sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize