Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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