I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
