I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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