So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
