remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize