Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He passed out mid-signature
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize