Welp...herpes.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
