If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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