I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
