Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Randomize
